COVID Diaries - Role Strain

Day 11 Prompt: In my classes we talk about role conflict and role strain. We all have different roles in our lives--familial roles like wife, sister, mother, personality roles like the peacemaker or the worrier or the fixer or work roles (boss, salesperson, teacher, etc). Role conflict is when we are torn between two different roles in our lives (mother and teacher or wife and mother). Describe some of your roles. Reflect on some of the role conflicts you may have been experiencing during this time . If you can, illustrate one of your role conflicts with a picture or meme.


I am a mother, wife, worker bee, friend, sister, daughter, worrier. 


The role that has been most strained has been that of working mother outside the home vs. Working mother inside the home with children also there. I have always loved being a full time working mother.  I have rarely if ever gotten the itch to stay home with the boys full time. Even as a small child when I played house my husband stayed home with the kids while I worked.  Sometimes the roles of mother and employee are in conflict with each other but in our house it's rare.  Alfred is an amazing dad who does a lot of the kid duties.  We often laugh because when I show up to school events everyone wants to know where Alfred is because they have something they want to talk with him about.  He is on the board of both of our kids aftercare programs and is always dropping food off at the school for teacher appreciation events.  Everyone knows and loves him!  He is the one who does the school stuff, however, when it comes to homework neither of us help the boys a lot, we feel it is the boys responsibility to get their stuff done. It is their responsibility to plan and if their grades reflect poor planning then there are consequences.  This has caused some conflict now that all learning has been brought in house as well as working from home. Neither Alfred or I took responsibility setting the boys up for success and because this was new to them they had no idea how to set themselves up for success.  The first few weeks were spent with the boys watching approx. 10-12 hours of TV a day, Alfred and I feeling terrible about it and blaming each other only to let it happen again the next day.  Finally one night Alfres and I split a bottle of wine had a heart to heart and I admitted I was never ever ever going to read the emails the school was sending about distance learning and that I needed him to take on that responsibility.  I don't want the boys to be behind but I also have no desire setting up a learning plan for them.  Once they get going I'm fine to keep them on schedule and answer questions. I just don't want to be the one who is responsible. Teacher is not a role I'm fond of.