Since Alfred and I met in 2007 this is the first New Year's Day that we aren't either expecting a baby in the near future or just had a baby in the past year. It's the first time I sit down to reflect on the past year and it isn't about major life changes! We haven't had to spend any time this year getting into the routine of adding a new person to our life or anticipating how our life would change when the new baby arrives. This makes part of me very sad but it makes another part of me very happy because although we didn't add to our family in size and the changes within our family this year are something an outsider wouldn't even consider, I, as an insider know we grew in comfort and love.
Sometimes it's all about the small things. It's about waiting to cross the finish line at your first half marathon because your husband is injured and it's more important to run it together than to get a time you've been training for. It's about cheering your 18 month old on at his big brother's first soccer game because that's when he decides to take his first steps. It's getting tons and tons of bad news in one week and your husband packing up the family for an impromptu camping trip because he knows you just need to be away from it all. It's the wisdom I am given daily from a 3 and a half year old that reminds me how simple it really can be.
A lot of great accomplishments were made this past year. Alfred and I ran our first half marathon together and completed another Ragnar Relay in Chicago. I finally allowed someone other than my mom or mother in law keep both boys so that Alfred and I can actually go on dates. Beckett finally took his first steps after months and months of anticipation. Kingston played T-Ball and Soccer for the first time time this year. And yes all of these things are amazing and make it into my journal at night but things that don't seem to make it in there are the things that have been on my mind a lot lately. The things that occur everyday without me even realizing it. The growth of a family. Becoming comfortable with the everyday.
I don't necessarily do good at keeping so called resolutions but in 2012 I want to enjoy the little things more. I want to appreciate my husband more for all that he does for us. I want to breathe in every minute with my boys and not take one second for granted. I want to tell those that mean the world to me just that, often. I want to say thank you more. I want to be better at living in the moment and not wishing them away. As I very tragically learned this year we never know when this is the last moment we will get. I want to make sure that I make as many moments count as I can! Happy New Year!! It really is great to be an Eller!
