Today's assignment is to document our "safety" choices, what is the choice and why did I make it. Is if fear of the disease, fear of judgement, fear of the unknown etc.
Before I get to my decisions I need to document the backstory so future Rachel remembers all of this.
I first started hearing about the Corona virus in February. At that time it was happening in other countries to other people and I thought it was a really bad flu that people were blowing out of proportion and didn't think a lot about it.
On March 3rd I woke up to a phone call that school was cancelled because of a tornado that hit downtown Nashville. As an HR Business Partner my immediate thought was to start reaching out to my employees and making certain everyone was OK. I spent the better part of that week dealing with the aftermath of the tornado so when I learned the County my office is in had it's first case of corona I was still busy with the tornado and although I paid attention I didn't think much about it.
After 4 days out of school due to tornado damage my kids returned to school on March 9th. The Corona Virus conversations were picking up but I still thought it was much ado about nothing. On March 11th Alfred and Beckett went to the SEC basketball tournament game at Bridgestone Arena. While at the game they were told it would be the last game of the season with fans in attendance (which would end up actually being the last game of the tournament). We also got the call that night that school would be out for the remainder of the week while they sanitized the schools. Even though no one had tested positive at the schools they wanted to take extra precautions. Spring Break was the following week and we thought that would give them enough time to get everything put back in order. Since that day the kids have not returned to school and are currently out until at least April 27th although we don't expect them to go back this year.
That same week as CA and IL and many other states were issuing stay at home orders due tot the outbreaks in their states my company determined that we would also go fully remote except for essential staff (security guards, data center etc.) My kids were already going to my sisters for Spring Break and since I was now going to be working remote I decided to go with them. At this point I assumed we would all go back to normal at the beginning of the next week. The first day I was at my sisters we went to the mall and were actually kind of confused about what social distancing meant. We weren't fearful and weren't taking it seriously. While at the mall enjoying time with my sister, mom, kids and nephews I went to Starbucks to grab a coffee and everyone got the same alert at the same time. Restaurants in Ohio would not be able to serve people sitting in the restaurants. Everything would have to be take out. I started talking to a lady in line and we discussed how this might be scarier then we thought. As the week went on and more and more cases started popping up and more and more Governors started issuing Stay at home orders my fear started to rise. Would I be able to get home. Would I end up giving my 62 year old mom who is living with Cancer this disease that I'm not sure she could survive. Do I have an underlying medical condition I am unaware of that would keep me from surviving? After a week at my sisters my mom packed the boys and I a lunch and we headed home. We made the 6 hour drive without stopping and I pulled into my drive way with the gas light on . I was fearful of what people would think if they saw us out and about, I was fearful that I would stop somewhere and pick up the disease.
So now that I've captured the back story on to today's assignment. Since I returned from Ohio I have only left the neighborhood twice to go to the grocery store. The first time I was so overwhelmed with fear I could barely shop and I cried on the way home. The second time was better but when someone spoke to me I felt like I couldn't talk back. I keep wanting to meet my friends to run but early on my husband was fearful of me going and that fear has stuck with me. People are also posting a lot of really hateful things about runners on social media and that scares me (fear of being judged). I keep thinking if I have to tell the CDC where I've been in the last 14 days would they question my choices. I haven't let the boys play with their neighborhood friends who they typically spend tons of time with. I'm fearful that people aren't being as diligent as we are or that our trip to the grocery story or the time's that Alfred has to go to work will pass it along to our neighbors who we love dearly. We wash our hands constantly even though most of the time we are only touching stuff our family has touched but everyone just keeps saying wash your hands and don't touch your face. I think my choices are a combination of fear of the disease, fear of being judged and fear of the unknown.
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