Childhood Dreams

As I sit here on the brink of my 30th birthday with Alfred at work staring at my sleeping son I wonder what his dreams will be. What he will do to acheive those?
I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't want to be an attorney. I was never the little girl that wanted to be the mother at Kindergarten play time I wanted to be the Principal because he was the most powerful person I knew. In high school my aspirations were to be a lawyer and then work my way into Politics because that is where I thought the difference took place. Once I was in college I was going to use my Speech and Debate career to get into Law School and then become a Political Speech Writer so I could make a difference. Sometime between taking the LSAT and filling out the paper work I lost my drive. I was tired of going to school and wanted to make some money before I went back to get my Law degree. Well that was 6 years ago and I'm still talking about when I go back to school. The thing is even though I'm 30 I still see myself as that naive 19 year old that thought I could change the world with one speech, one election, one dream. When people ask me what I do I tell them but I always say "But that's for now, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up". My question is when do I grow up? If it isn't graduation, my first job, my first house,having a child, turning 30...then when is it. When is it time to realize that I will probably never be an attorney, I will most likely never be on the cover of people and I will not write a speech that high school kids will have to memorize. Because even as I type this I can't use the word never because I still think in the back of my mind that when I grow up I will be an attorney and I will change the world and everyone will know me.
For now I'm satisfied helping my son write his future and changing the lives of those I love for the better everyday. I will continue to have the dreams of my youth while striving to move forward as an adult and I think that even though the 5 year old me never saw myself where I am now she would be proud of the person I have grown up to be and she would even play the mom sometimes and enjoy it more than she ever thought she could! Happy 30th birthday to me! It's better then I could have ever dreamed!