Childhood Dreams

As I sit here on the brink of my 30th birthday with Alfred at work staring at my sleeping son I wonder what his dreams will be. What he will do to acheive those?
I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't want to be an attorney. I was never the little girl that wanted to be the mother at Kindergarten play time I wanted to be the Principal because he was the most powerful person I knew. In high school my aspirations were to be a lawyer and then work my way into Politics because that is where I thought the difference took place. Once I was in college I was going to use my Speech and Debate career to get into Law School and then become a Political Speech Writer so I could make a difference. Sometime between taking the LSAT and filling out the paper work I lost my drive. I was tired of going to school and wanted to make some money before I went back to get my Law degree. Well that was 6 years ago and I'm still talking about when I go back to school. The thing is even though I'm 30 I still see myself as that naive 19 year old that thought I could change the world with one speech, one election, one dream. When people ask me what I do I tell them but I always say "But that's for now, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up". My question is when do I grow up? If it isn't graduation, my first job, my first house,having a child, turning 30...then when is it. When is it time to realize that I will probably never be an attorney, I will most likely never be on the cover of people and I will not write a speech that high school kids will have to memorize. Because even as I type this I can't use the word never because I still think in the back of my mind that when I grow up I will be an attorney and I will change the world and everyone will know me.
For now I'm satisfied helping my son write his future and changing the lives of those I love for the better everyday. I will continue to have the dreams of my youth while striving to move forward as an adult and I think that even though the 5 year old me never saw myself where I am now she would be proud of the person I have grown up to be and she would even play the mom sometimes and enjoy it more than she ever thought she could! Happy 30th birthday to me! It's better then I could have ever dreamed!

Motherhood and such!

Well this is my first Mother's Day and what a wonderful day it's been. I didn't expect or need anything because the pure joy of being Kignston's mother has been gift enough. He is an absolutely amazing child and watching him grow everyday is such a treat. I can't believe I have the joy of being his mother. In the 7 weeks that he's been here I've gotten to know so much about him and I've fallen in love with things I have forgotten about. Long walks in the park, sitting in the sun reading a book, roller skating, laughing for no reason, the true gift of family. He has made me slow down, be a kid again see things thru a new pair of eyes. At times it has been tough but even the tough times are pure joy. It's made me love my parents even more than I did which I didn't think was possible. It's made me strive to be a better friend. It's made me fall in love with Alfred the father as well as the man. And speaking of Alfred even though I didn't need a present for Mother's Day I awoke to a wonderful gift that brought tears to my eyes.

My friend Sarah took these and many more wonderful pictures a few weeks ago and Alfred took those and made me this beautiful collage. I am so blessed.

Now on to a pretty big week, not only is Kingston turning 7 weeks but I'm turning 30 this week and we are taking Kingston on his first road trip, to see Alfred's parents in Macon, GA. It should be a very eventful week so I should have plenty to blog about. Until next time Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers!

Playing Catch up!

This post will be all about playing catch up and I promise to get better at posting and by better I mean at least once a week!! So let's start with the basics, Kingston is 5 weeks old and weighed 8lbs. 12 oz. on Monday. Our big milestone for this week is that he moved up to the big boy bottle. He is now consistently eating 4 oz. so we have him trying for 5. With the increase in food has came a slight increase in sleep which probably would be better if he didn't have a cold which makes him cough. Apparently he has his mom's allergies.

Kingston is starting to really interact with us a lot more. We go to the park or walk in our neighborhood almost every evening and he loves to be in his carrier so that he can look up at us and see what were doing.

This also adds a little extra weight which will help mommy get back in shape!

and...

Kingston still really loves sleeping with his daddy on the couch!

And speaking of sleep. Kingston has yet to sleep anywhere other than in bed with us. We have a snuggle nest which is a thing that allows a baby to sleep in there own little bed that is in bed between the 2 of you and since we have a King size bed we thought this would be a wonderful idea for the first few weeks the only problem is that we've all gotten so used to it I don't know how we are going to break the habit, but for now it's working for everyone but I see a change happening as soon as he cuts out one of his nightly feedings! But I'm sure when that happens he will spend an entire night perfecting a skill he's already great at.... pouting and crying!!

As for Alfred and I, we are having a blast being parents. I was at my friend Natalina's baby shower the other day and I realized something while I was sitting there. The person I was last year could have never imagined the person I've become. I was talking baby items and tips with my friend Sarah who is also a new mother, I was talking labor with a few ladies who are due to have babies in the next few months. I never imagined myself as that person but now that I am I can't imagine that I was ever meant to be anything else but Kingston's mom but the balance between the person I was and the person I am has been a hard one to figure out. I still want to go out with friends, work, be independent but at the same time I'm a mom. It's been hard for me not to feel guilty at times for either choosing to leave Kingston at home and go out or say no to my friends and stay with him. But overall I've been managing a pretty good balance and I have to attribute a lot of that balance to Alfred for letting me still be me sometimes while he keeps the baby. And at the end of the day we are more in love then we've ever been and I can't imagine taking this journey with anyone else by my side!! My family rocks!!